the masks we wear help us to be ourselves
this post is inspired by Kim Krans’ Archetype deck and guidebook
What if the masks that we create for ourselves are actually helping us to be more ourselves?
What if the masks that we wear are allowing us to express the parts of ourselves that otherwise have been hidden or pushed aside?
In her Archetype guidebook, Kim Krans offers, “We often think of a mask as something that conceals our identity. Yet contemplate the possibility that The Mask permits our true identity to be revealed.”
Did you play dress up at some point in your life? Who were you trying to be, and are they still with you in some way? What qualities and characteristics were you drawn to act out? Did you feel free, sassy, adventurous, soft? What did taking on this character allow you to do that you wouldn’t otherwise have been able to do?
We wear masks in our life in every situation. We often think of masks as being negative or like we’re hiding ourselves, but what if your mask was actually allowing you to be more fully yourself?
With some people, and in some situations, we wear a mask that allows us to stay hidden.
Consider your go-to mask. How has this mask served you, with all of its gifts and limitations?
The Gestalt psychotherapy version of exploring our masks is called “disowned parts” work, where we are consciously embodying and acting out a part of ourselves that otherwise has been disowned or pushed aside.
As Gestalt trainee Lisa Bradburn points out in her article “Discover Your Disowned Part And “Re-own” What Is Lost,” “The belief is that change happens in a person's life when the individual reintegrates a disowned part of the self into the mix of identity.”
Exploring your disowned part could support you to “re-own” a silenced or pushed-down part of yourself, so that you regain choice and awareness around how and when to take support from this quality or way of being in the world.
The Mask can support us to show up more fully in our lives and in our relationships. The Mask supports what otherwise could not be present.
Kim Krans calls upon our innate creativity to bring awareness and curiosity to these parts of ourselves that are dis-owned: “The Mask gives voice to what was previously rejected [by our community, our family, etc.]. … The Mask allows us to enact the facet of yourself that is seeking expression, yet was never given a role to play on the stage of your life.”
I am offering some creative expression experiments below to support the beginning of your disowned parts exploration.
Try this to explore your Masks - what might be disowned in you - if you feel curious:
Imagine all of the facets of yourself as a cast of characters.
Sketch out 3 or 4 of these characters, listing their likes/dislikes, qualities and characteristics. You may even draw or paint them, make a playlist for each one … really get intimate with them.
Write a scene where all of these characters are working on a problem from your life. Read the scene aloud with someone, if you feel comfortable.
As Kim Krans offers, this process is an important part of “participating in the ritual of expanding The Self” - your whole self, an integration of parts who draw support from each other and need each other. No one needs to be an outcast!
Try this to explore your original masks:
Your original face is the one you had before you entered your family. You might also consider your resting face, the expression you wore as a young person to observe your family.
Find photos of yourself as a young person that reflect your original face and/or your resting face.
In what ways do you see your current self in these photos?
What is missing?
Can you have some tenderness in your heart for the face you had to wear then? for what you’ve left behind?
Can you contemplate that this was the face that helped you survive and belong?
It can be helpful to have the support and perspective of a trusted person when delving into this work, especially someone who might join you with a sense of curiosity and play. Working one:one with a Gestalt psychotherapist could be another way to deepen your awareness and understanding of what you dis-own about yourself.
For further exploration of “masks” and a how-to guide to discovering your own “disowned parts,” check out this Medium article by Gestalt trainee Lisa Bradburn:
https://medium.com/beingwell/discover-your-disowned-part-and-re-own-what-is-lost-afe6295566b8
For more Gestalt terms and definitions, visit the Gestalt Institute of Toronto website:
